Compost

The dead collect at my feet like brittle leaves; fallen, dry…pointless.
I push through them as I walk my day away.
They rise in light breezes, but never take flight.

I hear them at night crackling against my window, piled so high they sit on the sill.
The dead ones…lucky ones, I say…twirling in devil winds, coils of life long gone.
But they never go far. They congregate in corners and sit with me in still air.

I feel them; their loathsome weight that weighs nothing at all presses my heart into my throat.
The dead I loved have turned to mold, flimsy recollections of hope.
They spin around me, grazing the ground, twisting my steps.

They want me to join them…
Compost of the ages.

All I need is a rake.

Originally posted on RedBubble

Published in: on October 28, 2009 at 5:44 am Leave a Comment

How nasty do you have to be to your kids before they won’t tell you when your pants are falling down in a supermarket parking lot?

[I’ve tried not use any judgmental wording here and not to frame this within my own point of view on the matter, but that’s never easy to do in communicating, so please bear with me.]

She appeared to be about forty, the lady with the droopy pant legs. I notice pant legs when they puddle around feet because it always looks to me like the person is growing up through the ground, forcing his or her way out of the folds of the earth. The faces of the children were fresher versions of her, fluffier, without that slight pinch in the face that comes with age.

She sounded like static when a radio station isn’t tuned in well…or when a TV channel isn’t transmitting enough of a signal to get the full audio track. Each word from her mouth was separate: “Put. That. Bag. Back. In. The. Cart. Now! How. Stupid. ARE. You???”

One of her four ducklings flinched at each word.

“Give. Me. That!!!” She took something small from the largest child, who looked like he was about ten years old. The others appeared younger; they were certainly smaller. He frowned and swatted the air where she had been, as she turned away.

I was behind them in the supermarket before they checked out and I was still behind them leaving the store. In the store children stayed close to her and moved with her steps. They didn’t chat or giggle or do the things that I frequently see children do in stores. She said what there was to be said, loudly and with an edge that cut even me. And I wasn’t the target.

“Stop. Doing. That. HOW DUMB DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO PUT YOUR HAND IN THERE??? IT’S DIRTY!!!!!! DON’T YOU DARE GET THAT DIRT ON YOUR CLOTHES!!!”

And so on…

She never touched them, never hit them or hugged them. She never asked them questions or taught them anything. There was no give-and-take except the sound of her voice and the looks on their faces.

Each of the children had the same expression: waiting. Expectation? Dread? Not eagerness.

By the time we were all in the parking lot the children were drifting away from her and getting closer to their car. As she walked in front of me I could see her pant legs fall into bigger folds. She kept walking, pushing her cart. Her sweatshirt came to the top of her hips; the waistband of her pants was abandoning it quickly and moving south. The two little ones watched her as she got closer to them. They looked at each other. As I passed by I heard them giggle quietly.

When I turned to open my car door I saw her, this woman, this fellow human being, standing at her car door holding a grocery bag, with her sweatpants on the ground. They’d slipped down and she didn’t seem to know.

I didn’t want to tell her. Neither, it seemed, did her kids. We all looked away.

Then I decided that someone really ought to and walked closer, just in time to hear: “Mind. Your. Own. G-damn f#%^ing business, you little s$@t!!”

Her littlest one stared up at her with a face full of storm clouds before he started to cry. The others climbed into the car and the woman looked back at me.

“What are YOU looking at??”

I think my face must have looked like thunder and lightning as well, because she pulled her pants back up, pushed the shopping cart into the nearest cart corral, and walked back to her car.

I made sure my own pants weren’t falling down, and then I went home.

Published in: on October 9, 2009 at 6:41 am Leave a Comment

Why is it so difficult for people too understand these three little words???

“I can’t afford it.”

How many times have I said that? How many times have I explained why?
Hundreds?
Thousands?
ENOUGH?

Why is it that whenever I tell you something that’s going on my life that’s a problem, your response is to get it fixed or buy a new one? You KNOW I can’t afford it!
All I want is empathetic recognition that I’m having a problem. That’s all!

Now I have to tell you AGAIN that I can’t afford it.
Now I have to explain to you AGAIN why I can’t afford it.

Either that, or I remove another topic from our list of permissible discussion items.
But I don’t know if our relationship can afford it.

Published in: on August 14, 2009 at 3:19 am Comments (2)
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Not my fault, Jolly Roger.

“It’s a half-mast morning,” he said. He yawned…his eyelids sank.

Not my fault, I told myself. No need to say more. Let it go.
“I’d be late, anyway. First cruise is early.”

The sheet across his chest bobbed gently like a slow wake in the bay. The gulls we know arrived for breakfast for so I got out of bed. His foot twitched under the sheet, and I looked at him with tenderness that roped itself tight around my heart: This morning’s colors were fully-hoisted now and his bent smile puffed part of name I didn’t know.

I wondered who she was this time.
I wondered if gulls would breakfast on human flesh if invited.

But what I did was pour a pitcher of cold water on his Jolly Roger.
Not my fault.

Published in: on June 8, 2009 at 1:38 pm Leave a Comment

Pandemic? Plague? How worried am I?

Are you worried about a swine flu pandemic?

I’m less worried about the global spread of the strain we’re currently seeing than about the one that could develop in the fall. Influenza viruses mutate. This isn’t “flu season.” Given a few months of human-host percolation, the wee nasty could become more deadly. Or not. Am I worrying to the point of losing sleep over it? Nope. Everybody dies. No point in actively worrying about that. What troubles me is how society deals with what happens. The first short story I ever read was The Masque of the Red Death, when I was around 8. I’ve casually studied “plagues” (bacterial and viral) ever since. Influenza’s nothing to screw around with. It’s not as colorful as Yersinia Pestis but it’s certainly got a kick to it.

Here’s an iris, not a virus:

Say, "Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

I rock. Seriously. *takes a bow*

OK, I wasn’t going to post for a couple of days, because I’m behind in visiting, etc., but this is just TOO COOL to keep quiet about: my little brain is just the best ever. Don’t laugh! I wanted a quick way to return to the top of the page while working on the computer, and I know VERY few keyboard shortcuts. Went to one of those places where they give you MILLIONS of Mac keyboard shortcuts. I was in a hurry (as usual) and didn’t feel like screwing around reading page after page, so I looked at the keyboard itself and thought. THOUGHT! Used the little gray cells and logic, thusly: The Command key seems very powerful. The arrow keys provide direction. I wanted a POWERFUL up movement, right? Instead of the tiny normal up movement? So I hit the Command key and the up arrow and went to the top of the page. Lightning-fast! Ta-DAH!!!!!

Brilliant!

That’s why I rock.

It’s OK to laugh now.

*runs before someone tosses a rotten tomato*

Published in: on April 23, 2009 at 9:59 am Leave a Comment

Infinity as Sunshine: The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow!

On April 21, 1977 ANNIE opened on Broadway. As soon as I heard the words “endearing moppet” used to describe the title character I knew I didn’t want to see the show (and I never did), but some of the songs have become such a part of our musical life that it’s hard to resist them. That link will take you to more links, and here’s a video. Get that earworm remedy ready!!

The sun really WILL come out tomorrow, you know? Because tomorrow’s always a day away…a deep concept, something to ponder on especially rainy days.

Published in: on April 21, 2009 at 3:47 am Leave a Comment

If Texas Secedes, How Will They Brand It?

What’s up with TEXAS??? What will they call it, if it wanders away from the rest of the United States?
Texasistan? Texasopia? Texicle? Texaseria? Texasland? Texasorra? Texulencia? Texasuda? Texivia?

Texico?

Just wondering. Names are important; they can go very, very wrong. If the people who are contemplating secession are serious, they ought to have someone shopping around right now for a company that develops brand names and branding strategies. Texans should be familiar branding, right? Some of them, anyway?
OK, so here’s an online site for developing/selecting names. If you’re a Texan, you might want to start looking for a name now.
Don’t wait until it’s too late and some knucklehead selects one that will make all the other nations giggle.

[Note: If you ARE from Texas, please don't be angry with me. I don't want you to leave!]

Why Don’t I Post Here?

Not a clue.

Oh, I just did.

LOL

Maybe I’ll stop back later. I love this site.img_0561

Published in: on March 23, 2009 at 9:31 am Leave a Comment

Ah, back again. For one night? Maybe more.

I’m hit-or-miss here, and that’s too bad. I’m hit-or-miss nearly everywhere. Mostly miss.

Last count I have 37 “blogs.” Hah!! The majority of them are just sign-ups and walk-aways: I tried to use the site but found it too this or too that or not enough of what I want, the usual. Some I did spend time on. One or two (like WordPress) I return to because I like it so much when I’m here, but I forget about it in the day to day drama of life.

Anyway, I’m currently on Redbubble now, and loving it. It’s ART, man. ART.

If I knew how to do a linkydink here, I’d do one. I’ll come back later and add one. Or maybe do another post.

It's not real. Is it?

Published in: on November 19, 2008 at 3:46 pm Leave a Comment